Time Warp

I get stuck in a time wrap of memories...the other day I read something from my favorite author. He warned about dwelling in the past. You forget to live in the moment. But what if everything you see or feel or hear reminds you of those memories? Then you start trying so hard to remember all the accounts bit by bit? When I'm fed up with all the responsibilities that accumulate as I grow, I want to go back to my simple childhood and be as happy and carefree! I think for the past month and a half I've been running in circles about my future. So I dwell in the past and I'm uncertain about tomorrow...who's not? Unless I can definitely find someone who just lives for the moment. I get really angry and then terrified. The worst part is that even though I look for help, no one can really give me the answers I seek. I have not felt an ounce of satisfaction and maybe because I try too hard or too little to get to perfection. But I'm fortunate to afford a smile on my face or a tear of joy. I feel so grateful for he wonderful people and environment that I am surrounded by. Why is it never enough until we have nothing else? I cannot really answer that and I don't know if anyone can. Maybe a meeting with the wise councils of the universe who can help me translate my conversations with God or interpret some of the craziest dreams. But anything to get me out of this still life that I tend to get stuck in and only have wisps of distraction that keep me within the boundaries of sanity.The changes I experience in and out are divine and hopefully we can all just take our time and see that and appreciate ourselves for it. Sometimes I do not have the best attitude to those that love me the most. Why is it that much harder to go back and make amends...in my experience, it is because you regard their opinion about you to the highest level. They make the biggest impact and have the largest influence. Even though I try to deny it, somehow I end up emulating exactly their character and it is the biggest battle of all to accept. Time...its happening no and will go on forever, we've just got to tick along!