A smile is worth it!!

These are some of the things that have made me smile over the past two weeks:

* When the younger Masai sales man at the kiosk tried a flirting stunt by holding my hand as he gave me change (LOL)

* My interesting class discussions (which for a few I went late and hardly said a word until my mind settled in about 15-20minutes! The topics are so inspiring and I get to share the things I've come across and never thought they'd be handy or worth anything!!

* When I saw the picture of our S.G tour in the daily paper and my ma was the first person I texted!! Then Aram, Anita, Feizal (then my credit was over) But I got all their equally happy for me replies!!

* Washing Aram's ma's car with him after a nice cup of tea and her addictive chocolate cake that I never stop thinking about!!

* The pair of beautiful earrings from his hardworking mum; she is dedicated and determined!!

* Pinky's homecoming!! A new dog and she loves me :) I slept with her on her first night over and she's still misses Patric but she'll come around!! I was so excited way before she came.

* Watching the animation ''Legend of the Guardians''...magnificent!!!

* Going for world religion day gathering; such tranquility and happiness with diverse beings and a common understanding!

*The beautiful stars and the moon in the night sky!

*Hearing from friends and realizing we mostly go through the same thing and after we talk about it, the load seems lighter because it has been shared!

* The little rain that fell one night, it must have been taunting to the dry earth, but it was a promise of more to come...I hope!!

* Being alive and having all these things and more to give me a smile, even when I want to throw in the towel and call it a century!!

Solo!

Today I woke up feeling isolated, alone. I n a world full of people surrounded constantly, I still feel like its just me. Showered by love from family and from him! It feels like a vacuum but i never fill the space...still empty! Maybe I take things too seriously and I don't give myself time to live. I still drive myself to achieve my life desires, to maintain good health (though slowly dwindling over stress!) and plan for future ventures. So that must mean something; there's the spirit within me pushing me forward. If I was truly on my own I would have quit ages ago. The many times I wanted to give up but didn't. Around me, most think I have all my stuff under control and that's how  like it to be...but I admit at times I need help. Hope lingers within me, some days brighter than this. Today is beautiful, warm and sunny, clear blue sky! The intensity of my happiness can be matched by that of my anger; both go through my veins to great highs! Maye  haven't learnt how to control either so that I end up exploding on the most immediate victim who has to bear my frustrations! It's also the same when those around me are not able to reflect the same energy and so far only few have but I have resigned to being mellow most of the time. So confusing are the things that run through my mind. I learnt that one minute can harbor so much, it's essential to make the best of it! I forget to remember there is so much to live for and all the privileges I have, but until I learn to share, I am locked up in futile attempts! What I need is to unlock that childhood happiness...cliche or not, its the only way I know how to feel free!