Solo!

Today I woke up feeling isolated, alone. I n a world full of people surrounded constantly, I still feel like its just me. Showered by love from family and from him! It feels like a vacuum but i never fill the space...still empty! Maybe I take things too seriously and I don't give myself time to live. I still drive myself to achieve my life desires, to maintain good health (though slowly dwindling over stress!) and plan for future ventures. So that must mean something; there's the spirit within me pushing me forward. If I was truly on my own I would have quit ages ago. The many times I wanted to give up but didn't. Around me, most think I have all my stuff under control and that's how  like it to be...but I admit at times I need help. Hope lingers within me, some days brighter than this. Today is beautiful, warm and sunny, clear blue sky! The intensity of my happiness can be matched by that of my anger; both go through my veins to great highs! Maye  haven't learnt how to control either so that I end up exploding on the most immediate victim who has to bear my frustrations! It's also the same when those around me are not able to reflect the same energy and so far only few have but I have resigned to being mellow most of the time. So confusing are the things that run through my mind. I learnt that one minute can harbor so much, it's essential to make the best of it! I forget to remember there is so much to live for and all the privileges I have, but until I learn to share, I am locked up in futile attempts! What I need is to unlock that childhood happiness...cliche or not, its the only way I know how to feel free!